Walking the Run

Still working on the comprehensive race report, but I wanted to separate out one topic: walking on the run. Although I do not consider myself an expert or a veteran, I have done a few races -- 5k's, 10k's, one half-marathon, lots of sprint triathlons, a couple Olympics, and now one Half-Iron. Never have I ever been reduced to walking. I have felt awful, gone slower (dramatically slower once or twice), and even collapsed once at the end of a race. But I always managed to keep running. Not on Sunday.
I understood from a theoretical perspective that at the end of iron-distance races, and even half-iron distance races, a lot of people end up walking, including at least one of my friends. I also understood that if I could keep running through the finish, I would move up in the field during the last 10k. But still, some part of my brain just didn't get it -- how could you be so done that you needed to walk in a race?
Now I get it. I was a little worried when I was breathing heavily in the first mile, even though my heartrate was just marginally high. I knew I was in trouble when I finished the 1st 5k averaging the bottom of Zone 4 rather than high Zone 2 to low Zone 3. I just figured that my standalone 13.1 averages mid-high Zone 4 for the entire thing, so I should be okay, even if the last 6 miles were survival running not racing.
Not so much. There's a really steep pitch between mile 3 and mile 4. I had intended to decide whether to walk up that hill based upon how I felt when I got there. I knew when I arrived that walking up was the smart move because my HR was already pinging too high. Once I got near the top, I started running again and thought I was fine.
Got to the half-way point mat running about 11 seconds per mile slower than I had intended, and thought I would make it up on the 2nd half because it was downhill. But I felt awful. About the time I got to mile 7, my HR was hovering in Zone 5 and my legs were full of lactic acid. I felt like I couldn't run one more step. Tried to limit my horizon to the now -- not worry about the next 6 miles, just the next 100 feet -- and see if I could pull through. Nope. Right after mile 7, you hit a small uphill roller. Objectively it's not much, but after more than 4 hours of racing it seemed like a mountain. I could not keep running, and had to walk or I was going to keel over. I freaked out about losing time to the field by walking, but there was no alternative if I was going to finish. The next 5 miles slid down the slippery slope. Walk for 30 seconds uphill and run until the next uphill became walk for 45 seconds, to one minute, to walk until you feel ready to keep running, while the running portions got shorter and slower as time went on. That was really humbling.
With 5k to go, I tried to run it all the way. Nope. With 2 miles to go, I tried to run it all the way. Nope. When I saw the 12 mile marker, I determined that I had to salvage a little pride and run it in from there. Yep, even though it may have been the hardest mile I have ever run.
After the race, I checked the splits and was surprised that (a) I only lost 45-seconds to 1 minute a mile by needing to walk; and (b) while I got passed some during my troubles, there was not great whooshing sound as hundreds of people ran by me.
So I apologize to all those walkers I have silently wronged in my mind. I understand it now. Even in a race, you can reach a point where you either stop or you walk. Hopefully this won't happen to me again.